Scott Burtness
People say you should write what you know. That’s damn good advice, so Scott writes about ordinary Midwesterners making an extraordinary mess of things. Hey, if the flannel fits…
Oh- one more thing: According to Scott, ‘ordinary’ according to Scott totally includes vampires, werewolves, zombies, shapeshifters, aliens, and more. Heck, it is the Midwest, after all.
Fiction
Wisconsin Vamp
2014, Scott Burtness
Some vampires are destined for greatness. He's not one of them.
When terrible cook and mediocre bowler Herb Knudsen becomes a vampire, his once simple life gets a bit more complicated. He’s stronger, a little sexier, and a heck of a lot better at bowling. Even Lois, the girl of his dreams, is starting to notice him. But he can’t drink beer, the bodies are piling up, and his best friend Dallas isn’t just getting suspicious – he’s getting jealous.
When Lois is caught up in the two friends' escalating rivalry, keeping his dark secret becomes the least of Herb's concerns.
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Northwoods Wolfman
2015, Scott Burtness
That awkward moment when the monster hunter has to hunt himself.
When Dallas, the self-proclaimed Hero of Trappersville, is recruited by an ancient order of monster hunters, he’s more than happy to sign up. The group’s leader, Colton, is solid as an oak. Randall ain’t half bad, despite his tendency to whine. The whip-smart, beautiful, and totally badass Aletia is whip-smart, beautiful, and totally badass. Under their guidance, Dallas learns everything there is to know about hunting monsters (or close enough) and pledges to keep his friends safe.
Now there’s a werewolf in town, and Dallas and Stanley are on the case. As far as Dallas is concerned, monsters are monsters, and they have no place in Wisconsin. Or do they? When an unexpected discovery and an unlikely reunion turn his world upside down, Dallas realizes he may not get to choose which side he’s on.
Booze, bar fights, boo hags, beer cans, Bigfoot, brujas, and a full moon. Who knew that hunting monsters would make life so exciting?
Undead Cheesehead
2017, Scott Burtness
Zombie hordes are bad. It's even worse when one of those zombies looks just like you.
Stanley's lonely. Before the strange events of the past few months, the self-proclaimed alien abductee would drink and bowl with his friends, Herb and Dallas. But no one's seen hide nor hair of Dallas in the longest, and Herb's been spending all of his time with his girlfriend, Lois. That just leaves Stanley, and Stanley's lonely. Everything changes when Stanley becomes a zombie. With each bite, he gains a new friend. Soon, he has more friends than he would've ever thought possible. If he could just sink his teeth into Herb, Lois, and Dallas, they'd all be together again, and everything would be perfect. Meanwhile...
Everything changes when Stanley's home is vandalized. After someone breaks all of his dinner plates and ruins his last hotdog, a zombie apocalypse overtakes Trappersville. To make matters worse, the Society shows up. Stanley and his supernatural friends are trapped between an ancient order of monster hunters and a hungry zombie horde. If that wasn't bad enough, one zombie in particular looks a lot like Stanley.
Things aren't looking good for the fine folks of Trappersville, Wisconsin. Will Stanley, his friends, and the entire town be lost? Over Stanley's dead bodies.
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